Random Story

Never tell someone the truth when a random story will do. Here's my conversation with a coworker:

Coworker: THANK YOU....always know I can depend on you my little cupcake with sprinkles!
Me: never call me that again.
Coworker: WHY....LMAO

Here's where I could have just told the truth and said, "ah, who wants to be called 'little cupcake with sprinkles'?" But I thought I'd bog her down with a random story instead --- thus I could irratate the idea of calling me 'little cupcake with sprinkles' out of her.

Me: ... bad memories.
Coworker: I want to know.....do you have bad memories with a cupcake as a child?
---- BEGIN RANDOM STORY --------
Me: It all started when our hyphen-happy protagonist, Stephanie, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling alarmingly exasperated, Stephanie poked a ripened avocado, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, she realized that her beloved little cupcake with sprinkles was missing! Immediately she called her so-called buddy, Bob. Stephanie had known Bob for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were curious ones. Bob was unique. He was plucky though sometimes a little... stupid. Stephanie called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Bob picked up to a very sad Stephanie. Bob calmly assured her that most disease-carrying chipmunks panic before mating, yet Indonesian devil cats usually flamboyantly cringe *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Stephanie. Why was Bob trying to distract Stephanie? Because he had snuck out from Stephanie's with the little cupcake with sprinkles only three days prior. It was a saucy little little cupcake with sprinkles... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Stephanie got back to the subject at hand: her little cupcake with sprinkles. Bob panicked. Relunctantly, Bob invited her over, assuring her they'd find the little cupcake with sprinkles. Stephanie grabbed her hippopotamus and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Bob realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the little cupcake with sprinkles and he had to do it recklessly. He figured that if Stephanie took the wannabe go-fast Civic, he had take at least six minutes before Stephanie would get there. But if she took the Saturn? Then Bob would be scarcely screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Bob was interrupted by nine oafish Cats that were lured by his little cupcake with sprinkles. Bob grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling displeased, he aptly reached for his dull pencil and recklessly deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the disease-infested jungle, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Saturn rolling up. It was Stephanie.

----o0o----

As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of gerbils, so she knew she was running late. With a heroic leap, Stephanie was out of the Saturn and went earnestly jaunting toward Bob's front door. Meanwhile inside, Bob was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the little cupcake with sprinkles into a box of dangerous oil-soaked rags and then slid the box behind his refrigerator. Bob was stunned but at least the little cupcake with sprinkles was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Bob earnestly purred. With a careful push, Stephanie opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some dimwitted self-righteous ass in a magic flying carpet,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Bob assured her. Stephanie took a seat exotically proximate to where Bob had hidden the little cupcake with sprinkles. Bob turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Stephanie was distracted. Absolutely thrilled, Bob noticed a stupid look on Stephanie's face. Stephanie slowly opened her mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Bob felt a stabbing pain in his kidney when Stephanie asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the little cupcake with sprinkles right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A annoying look started to form on Stephanie's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's potatos from when she used to have pet Indonesian devil cats. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Stephanie nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Bob could react, Stephanie aimlessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The little cupcake with sprinkles was plainly in view.

Stephanie stared at Bob for what what must've been eleven microseconds. Unaware of the bleakness of existence, Bob groped charismatically in Stephanie's direction, clearly desperate. Stephanie grabbed the little cupcake with sprinkles and bolted for the door. It was locked. Bob let out a eccentric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Stephanie,' he rebuked. Bob always had been a little abrasive, so Stephanie knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Bob did something crazy, like... start chucking wolverines at him or something. Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, she gripped her little cupcake with sprinkles tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Bob looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Stephanie. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame seven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Stephanie. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Bob walked over to the window and looked down. Stephanie was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Stephanie was struggling to make her way through the lemur-infested moor behind Bob's place. Stephanie had severely hurt her fingernail during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Cats suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the little cupcake with sprinkles. One by one they latched on to Stephanie. Already weakened from her injury, Stephanie yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Cats running off with her little cupcake with sprinkles.

About nine hours later, Stephanie awoke, her ear throbbing. It was dark and Stephanie did not know where she was. Deep in the hazy bush, Stephanie was excessively lost. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, she remembered that her little cupcake with sprinkles was taken by the Cats. But at that point, she was just thankful for her life. That's when, to her horror, a little Cat emerged from the swamp. It was the alpha Cat. Stephanie opened her mouth to scream but was cut short when the Cat sunk its teeth into Stephanie's armpit. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Stephanie's lungs, but not before she realized that she was a failure.

Less than three miles away, Bob was entombed by anguish over the loss of the little cupcake with sprinkles. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened gerbil. With a skillful thrust, he buried it deeply into his ear. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Stephanie... wishing he had found the courage to tell her that he loved her. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the little cupcake with sprinkles that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Cats, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'( *

Of course, I don't have the story telling skills to come up with such a story on the spot, but I'm very familar with a little internet toy called the Random Story Generator. So, my nonsense was thanks to them, and my coworker won't be asking for any more stories from me. :)

* I gotta give credit where credit is due, so here's the credits for the story:

LOLz!!1
*** L337 Story Generator v1.0
*** Written by Derek Clark. Copyright © www.the-elite.net ~ 2004-2005
*** Forever pwning with earnest.
http://www.the-elite.net/---/story/

Ike at the Office

I've been procrastinating a lot lately, so in an effort to procrastinate new things I thought I'd post some of my pictures of the damage to our office building caused by Hurricane Ike. We were out of work for almost a week due to Ike and when they brought us back we were on generator power without AC for a week and then after they obtained a larger generator we were on generator power with AC for another week. It took about a month to get the office cleaned up again. Of course, in that time everyone switched offices (except me since I'm on the back hallway that was for the most part not effected.

They tore up the wet carpet and dry wall before they let us back in the building.

They had fans running to dry everything out.

It was just my side of the building that flooded -- the east side.

My *new* bosses old office. He's down the hall from me now. He went on vacation after Ike came through so he missed a lot of the office mess.

This office was empty, but it becamse a joke that we now knew what happened to the guy that had been in this office ... he slowly dug his way out. :)

I'm not sure exactly how much water we had inside but they took about 4 inches off the dry wall.

Towards east of building.

Looking back towards the back of the building.

Just Say NO!

I've tried to steer clear of being politically vocal for the past couple years because of the amount of anger and frustration I felt towards others, but I felt compelled to write Congress on the economic bailout plan and thought I'd post it here:

I am writing to you to urge you not to pass the $700 billion financial rescue plan. This plan is short sighted and does not present a solution to the fundamental problem behind our current financial situation – which lies with Main Street, not Wall Street.

I don’t mean to imply that Wall Street is without blame, they’ve clearly taken advantage of the liberal financial policies of the American family, but bailing out Wall Street will do nothing to set the US back on track to family fiscal responsibility. This is what our fundamental problem is – living beyond our means, buying today what we’ll spend the next 30-40 years to pay off. What Americans don’t realize is that we’re all part of the problem; it’s our lifestyle of excess that has got us into this situation. If it weren’t for our company sponsored retirement plans, how many of us would truly have any savings? We bicker about the rising cost of healthcare, and constantly see stories of the financial strain caused by the rise in healthcare, but really, how many of us are prepared? Not many and that’s our problem.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t do something about our current situation, but providing access to more loans and more debt only extends the problem into the foreseeable future when it will inevitably come back to bite us. What we need to do is focus on the underlying problem which is the American people not paying their debt.

Ultimately, what I want are alternative solutions. Don’t give me a $700 billion rescue plan – we can do better than that.

Thanks for your time,

Having been introduced to differing managing styles, I've found that the most fruitful are those that follow an Ideo style strategy in brainstorming in which, ultimately our collective ideas are always better than our individual ideas. Thus, I propose an Ideo style brainstorming session, because I’m certain our collective wisdom will produce something better than a $700 billion bailout.

Here are my ideas:

1. We need to put an end to bankruptcy, or if as a nation we can’t stomach actually having to pay our debts, put a hold on foreclosures and keep these people paying their mortgages.
2. Get rid of the early 401K withdrawal penalty, because as people near financial desperation we shouldn’t be penalizing them for wanting to pay their debts. We shouldn’t penalize people for tapping their last resource before filing for bankruptcy. Not to mention they’ve already taken a beating in the market, what’s the purpose of hitting them a second time?

Iota Kappa Epsilon

Bob and I have decided this is a more fitting name for IKE. Since the news keeps using all CAPS to name Ike, we figured the Greek was more appropriate. Makes it sound like a scary fraternity now! Raarrr. Iota Kappa Epsilon, raaarrr!

Hurricane Ike: Hurricane Theology

I read this great post over at my friend's site and thought I'd pass it along. It's a good read for anyone concerned that natural events, such as hurricanes, earthquakes, and the like, are God's method of punishment for sin.

A Christian View of Hurricanes

Hurricane Ike

Bobby and I made it through Hurricane Ike ok and thought we'd share
some pictures of our area -- they're only in the area where we live.
If I said I wasn't scared while it was going on, I'd be lying. When
the winds first started at our place they were coming from the Northeast.

For those that don't know, our apartment faces due east. We have an open
lawn between us and the adjacent building that runs north-south.

Looking east (as the storm is beginning to come in)

Looking northeast (as storm is coming in -- winds from northeast)

As I said, the winds were first coming from the northeast and there was one window in our apartment that was feeling the strain and growning. I was really concerned about this window because it seemed really stressed in the early stages of our wind development --- Ike still had not made landfall.

Well, around 2am Bobby and I went to lie down for a little while because we were getting really sleepy. Up to this point the wind really wasn't that strong, maybe 30-40 mph.

So, then around 3:30am or 4am -- I'm not quite sure the precise time because our electricity had gone out shortly after we lied down -- I heard this loud bang against our window and then I heard the wind. I'm not quite sure what the bang was, we think it may have been a bird or something. The wind however was running from north to south and was flowing pretty strongly through our open lawn. Bobby being the more brave ventured outside periodically and I would pull him inside when I thought it was unsafe -- which means he was eventually grounded inside. :) While we were watching we'd periodically see bursts of green light as transformers were bursting around town. It was truly the darkest I'd ever seen Houston.

By around 6am or so the wind shifted again so that it was blowing east to west, and about this time Bobby began to see debris flying off our roof and I began to grow concerned about the front windshield on my car. Of course, there wasn't much I could do about it because I was unwilling to allow Bobby to go outside and we had parked our cars so that the they would be protected from north winds -- which we felt would likely be the strongest. So as we're hanging out and we here the wind flowing through our corridor that is open east to west, our apartment began to shake. It wasn't the entire complex that was shaking, just the wall and floor immediately adjacent to the corridor. Since we were pretty sleepy, we figured it was a good time to retreat to the bedroom and take a nap.

I was woken up around 8am to the power coming back on and with the dawn of a new day I thought I'd take a look to around to see what had gone on under the cover of night. Here are the pictures:

Neighboring Apartment (wall faces east)

Lawn near apartment that runs north to south (roof tiles)

Showing roof of apartment across the way

Toppled tree

My car -- it's OK! Just a little covered in leaves :)

Drain that luckily didn't hit my car (or Bobby's)!

My roof looks bad!

Looking down from our balcony

Our door -- death by leaving

Another picture of drain

Another picture of our downed tree

More downed trees

Bushes torn apart

Bark ripped away from tree

Debris clog in pool

Neighboring complex that is missing siding

Overall, we got off lucky compared to the stories I've heard from around Houston. We are very thankful that our apartment was facing the best way to minimize effects from Ike. It's not completely over yet, but we're hopeful that our good fortune will continue. :)

New Testament Course: Part 3

After much reflection and concern that I would never be able to pass a course in which I disagreed so fundamentally with the instructor (and finding the class highly illogical) I decided to drop the course. It wouldn't have transferred anywhere anyway, so ultimately it was more stress than it was really worth.

In leiu of dropping this course, I thought I might take my mother-in-laws advice and actually go take a class from a local church. I went to Christ the Redeemer Monday night and I found it -- well, far and above the course I was taking. Unfortunately, my understading of Catholicism was a little too weak to completely follow along, so I think I need a more intro level course that explains some of the theology so I can merge that with what little I know of history. We'll see.

Yummy Cereal

I absolutely love this cereal. Try it - you'll thank me.

Kashi Cereal

New Testament Course, Part 2

So, after talking with the dean and the dean visiting our class, it appears that the instructor has moderated his tone a bit -- at least now he's not blatantly telling me I'm wrong,  he just alludes to it.

Other than having the joy of being able to call up Bobby after class to gleefully state that "it's demons," this took on a very different tone compared to last week's. Most notably after the dean left the class, we watched a short on the Spiritual Freedom Church, and their exorcism's of demons (hence the demons comment). Now, I don't believe in demons, so my disparaging remarks - yes I made them in class - is not surprising. So, while I knew that everyone else in the class believed in demons, because I was the lone desenter when the question was posed, I felt obligated to to provide an  alternative view otherwise the class comments would have sounded as though they were taken from some political party convention - it's no fun if everyone is in agreement. Here's my take on the Spiritual Freedom Church:

You need to consider the purpose of this individual. He's a Televangelist. That means he's in the business of selling God. He's about hype and encouraging people to not accept responsibility for their choices in life. This guy [the one that had the demon in him] clearly is torn between fulfilling his mother's desires to go into ministry and his own wishes to do something else.

I know it's not a popular view, but there it is. I think this one girl in the class attempted to make a point so as to prove demons existed by quoting something from 1 Peter 5 -- I'm not sure how this was really supposed to relate, because I didn't see any reference to demons. If anyone knows, please let me know. I probably should have asked her after class, but the only reason she mentioned the book and verse was because she knew I'd ask -- and she said it so dismissively that I dared not actually talk to her.

So, the other exciting event that occured in the class -- at least for me, was what I will always refer to my gift from God. As I noted before, I'm not keen on the New King James Bible and have held steadfast to my Catholic New American Bible even though he requested we all use the New King James Bible. As I mentioned in my previous post, one of my biggest concerns with this course was the instructors presentation of these alternative dates of authorship of the New Testament that placed them prior to the Fall of the Second Temple in 70 CE. Well, right after the dean had questioned him on his dates of authorship he selected a parable from Matthew for us to read and try to interpret. His statement concerning the dating of texts centers around his belief that there are no references to the fall of the Second Temple in the Gospel and that this lack of information alludes to the fact that the texts must have been written prior to it. Ok, so back to Matthew -- well, of all the Gospel parables he could have selected he chose Matthew 22:1-14.

I'm going to let that sink in a minute because the significance of Matthew's The Parable of the Wedding Feast at that exact moment, I mean right after he said there was no reference to the fall of the Second Temple... it was just perfect.

So, part of the beauty of my NAB is the footnotes, so I'll include here an excerpt of the footnote for Matthew 22:1-14:

22, 1-14: This parable is from Q; see Lk 14, 15-24. It has been given many allegorical traits by Matthew, e.g., the burning of the city of the guests who refused the invitation (7), which corrsponds to the destruction of Jerusalem by the Romans in A.D. 70. ....

Beautiful. Of course, he disregarded it -- but at least he didn't say I was wrong.

New Testament Course

New Testament Course
Category: Religion and Philosophy


I began taking a course on the New Testament from one of the local community colleges this past week and was horrified to discover the course was more suited for my sister's church than an institution of higher education.

While I do not have a quarrel with my sister's faith, I do with teaching a class on the basis of Biblical infallibility and speculation of dates of authorship*. Not only does this class suggest infallibility it outright rejects Biblical criticism and skips over this section in the text in an effort to present only an Evangelicals viewpoint. In an effort to minimize any attempt at noticing these chapters were skipped, the instructor has presented a second book for us to usein the course that minimizes any discussion on literary criticism. Overall, at first glance the class appears to be setup for the purpose of religious indoctrination, rather than religious scholarship instruction.

So, like any bad student, after questioning the instructor in class and being scoffed at for not knowing the Bible, I notified the dean of my concerns with the course. Noting that I had taken other courses that did not reject alternative points of view, such as my Old Testament course during the summer -- while it spent a lot of time on Biblical criticism, at the end of the day the instructor gave us literary samples that both rejected and supported literary criticism.

And, while I do have humility in my scholarship of the Bible and relish understanding alternative points of view, I am not interested in a course that presents only one -- particularly that, that one is fact.



*Note: While I do not begin to suggest that we should blindly follow Biblical scholarship on any, much less the dating of the New Testament books, I do question the agenda of an instructor that presents the more controversial view. Nor do I believe that an introductory course should dive head first into realm of religious discussion but should gain a base knowledge of the current status of scholarship -- then as they progress in their studies they should delve in discussion. While I hold this view for infallibility and the dating of the New Testament books, I do not hold this view for Biblical criticism -- as at its most fundamental level, this is what Biblical scholarship is about. And if it were the instructors opinion that this topic was just as controversial, I would hope that they would hold to teaching neither rather than selecting one as superior to the other as scholars studying the Bible are more closely split on this topic.

Good read

I was browsing through one of my previous instructor's blog and came across his views on abortion. I thought he made some valid points and I liked his blog enough that I thought I would pass it along. Contrary to what the title may suggest, this is not supportive of abortion.

Abortion: What's the Big Deal?

I Blame Bobby

I know I can't blame Bobby for my blatant addition of letters to words, such as adding u's and q's to words, or even my more recent turning Pogues into Progues, but I can blame Bob for this verbal slip:
"You can catch more honey with flies...."

It's so reminiscent of "Let's spill," "I'm forced to agree with myself," and "Open mouth insert tongue," and definitely all his fault!

Hurricane Day

I've had snow days, vacation days, and sick days, but I've never had a Hurricane Day. We'll get official word later this afternoon, but I won't be too heart broken if I don't.

Update: We got official word this afternoon stating that our Houston offices would be closed tomorrow in advance of Edouard. My first Hurricane Day, I'm so excited! Ok, so it's more likely just going to be a Rain Day, but I prefer that to an actual Hurricane Day -- but I'm not going to complain about a paid day off. Now I just need to bring in all my junk from the patio.

Update to the Update: Edouard was a total disappointment. I guess I should be happy, since we suffered no damage or anything -- but my Hurricane Day turned into a Rain Day. It wasn't even an impressive storm, we had much better storms with the hurricane that struck Brownsville.

Where am I going and What am I doing here?

I've been thinking a lot lately about life, the universe, and everything. Mostly I've been trying to decide whether I want to stay in engineering or not. For anyone that's talked to me in the last couple years, it's been a major struggle for me -- for several reasons.

On the stay in engineering side:

1) Money. I make good money as an engineer, and the financial prospects will only get better over the next ten years. If I were to stay in engineering and progress professionally, I could easily double my salary in the next ten years. Obtaining the Professional Engineers license would only enhance this.

2) Analysis. After been out of an analyst type position for the past year, I seriously miss it. I like numbering crunching, I like writing programs to number crunch, I like interpreting data and the results of data processing, and I like running numerical models -- my favorite being wave and sediment transport models.

3) Prestige. I like the way people respond to me when I tell them I'm an engineer. It's a little self confidence boost everytime it happens.

4) Variety. Unless you're in a large company, everyday in engineering is different. While I can not say I like wild swings from day to day, because I do like some stability, I do like the variety of work where I could spend one week programming, the next analyzing sediment samples, the next writing a bid document, and the next running a wave model.

5) Construction oversite. I've not been able to do this much of late, but its something I really enjoy. Of course, the only projects I've ever done it on would not have resulted in any deaths -- other than possibly my own, but there's something nice about getting to see your work completed and constructed. Not to mention the thrill of stomping around in work boots outside for day!

Against engineering:

1) Other engineers and contractors. This has been my biggest and most difficult hurtle in engineering. I've been told by potential employers that they were not interested in hiring married women, I've been told by a previous employer that I would not be able to manage a construction project because I was married -- all the while both KNEW my husband and I were living apart while he was in graduate school. Then, there's always the "boy club." Imagine being the ONLY female engineer in the company and having the boss come tell you that he and all the male engineers are going out, but "You're not invited because your husband would mind" even though he knew Bob wouldn't care and knew I was living alone. While at first glance it may seen mild, but functioning as a team is difficult when you're never a part of the bonding experience in the group.

That's not to mention the arrogance of engineers. They are some of the most ignorant, arrogant people I've ever met. There have been times where I attempt to argue a particular concept and rather than focusing on task conflict, I get this response: "I've been doing this for X many years, and X spent X amount for me to become an expert - So, trust me." Is it really so much to ask that engineers let go of their ego long enough to argue method?!

2) Children. And boy, oh boy, do I want kids! Kids are a part of my biggest struggle because working full time regardless of which profession you're in will mean sacrifices of time with the kids. Now I know engineering, so I know if a major project comes up personal plans get put aside. When major changes happen in the office, vacation, and flex hours disappear -- something I'm experiencing now, and how much would I really be willing to give up? How many sporting events (or recitals, or whatever!) would I be willing to give up? I know that my parents missed a lot (and I understand if its a necessity, but if I could work it out so it wasn't .... ), and having experienced the disappointment of looking in the stands and rarely finding them there, I don't want to repeat that in my childrens lives. Of course, I may not have a choice, but if I did....

3) Engineering itself. While there are aspects of engineering I like, there are others I really don't. My biggest fear is that I'd kill someone -- and while I know I'm not the only engineer to repeatedly check a calculation prior to construction for fear that the whole thing would just fail, it's not an enjoyable part. Then there's mechanical engineering -- a soul crushing experience in my opinion. Widgets and gadgets are cool to play with, but the designing aspect of it is not for me. I like water and sand, not metals.

Of course, then there's some of the basic grunt work of engineering. Design calculations and design standards. While very necessary, I prefer to analyze a situation more than I enjoy the nit and gritty of tiresome design calculations.

Plus, engineering isn't even what I spend the majority of my time thinking about. When I daydream I drift into a land of religious and philosophical quandry. It's what I spend the majority of my free time focused on, and it's what I'm most obsessed with -- not engineering. If I had to chose between Modern Marvels or a Discovery program on religion --- I'd be on the religious program in an instant.

4) Job stability. As more and more engineering jobs are being shipped overseas, it's only a matter of time before ocean engineering will be performed in Singapore, India, and South Korea ... where a large percentage of vessels are constructed. My future prospects aside, the oil and coastal industry also fluctuates with oil. Every 10 years or so, the market collapses and by all accounts we're due for a collapse. And while I hope I can maintain a position when the inevitable occurs, do I really want to put myself in a position similar to my mom where I'm just waiting for them to close the doors so I can try and figure out what to do with myself?

5) Bob. Bob and I have never had much luck finding jobs in the same location. His highest job potential locations are inland, and mine are coastal. As he gets nearer to the end of his PhD, could I really limit his search again -- after all that time and money he put into the PhD? I don't think so, and I told him I wouldn't.

So, here's where I am now. I'm at the point where if I'm going to stay I should take the PE exam, but even still there are times I want to take the PE exam regardless just so noone could ever say I left engineering because I couldn't hack it -- but is giving up 3 months of my free time and suffering through an 8 hour exam just to prove a point worth it if I don't want to stay in this profession?

Questions, questions, questions... if only I knew how 42 applied.

New Computer

For the past year or two, my 2001 Sony VAIO was dying under the weight of the many updates that Microsoft has put out. So much, that I could no longer have any programs on my computer other than Quicken, Office, Windows, and Messenger. My 11 gig machine was barely managing that and I was using an external drive for all my music, websites, pictures, and other documents.

After fussing about it for over a year, Bob and I finally went out and purchased a new computer. We had been saving up for a vacation, but a lot has changed in our group at work and a vacation is out for the near future -- so we decided the money would be well spent on a new laptop.

It's an HP -- we looked at the VAIO's but were more impressed with the features on the HP. With all my programs installed, music, pictures, and documents copied over I still have a staggering 200 gig to work with. Mesa like. :)

C.S. Lewis stuff

I don't normally get us this early in the morning (was up at working at 6am), but the cats were pestering me so I thought I'd finish my bolt (yuck!) calculation for work and send it off so I wouldn't have to do it later.

Well, after I finished I pulled out Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis to procrastinate the remainder of my work day and started looking at the list of quotes that was slowly accumulating on my makeshift bookmark. I don't normally keep quotes from books on my bookmarks, but I always hate when I read a great line and can never remember what it was -- so I thought this time I'd write them down.

Here's what I've got this far:

(pg 29) The statement that there is any such thing, and the statement that there is no such thing, are neither of them statements that science can make. And real scientists do not usually make them.

(pg 71) God is no fonder of intellectual slackers than of any other slackers.

(pg 112) If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were just those who thought most of the next.

Now if only I could convince the rest of the world of the accuracy of these statements.... Another day perhaps.

Trying not to think about it...

...and it seems to be a lot lately.

First, my car has been a huge issue these past few months. It all started last June when my ignition cylinder started locking up. For awhile, I could just jiggle the key for a bit and it would eventually unlock. Since it appeared to be getting steady worse I finally took it into the dealership to have them fix the problem. After I got it back it seemed to be ok for awhile, then in March it completely locked up stranding me at work. Luckily, we had just moved to the apartment closer to where I work and I walked home -- a punishing 2 mile walk in dress shoes. The next day a coworker picked me up at home and he helped me start the car to take it to the dealership. Since they were doing the same thing they'd done the previous June, I mistakenly thought they'd fix it free since they'd just worked on it less than a year previous. My mistake -- because the dealership only warranties their work for 1 year or 12,000 miles, and super lucky me was at 13,000 miles, so I was blessed to have to pay for the same work AGAIN.

Well, then when I got the car back, less than a week later the air conditioner went out. I didn't think too much of it, because I could rough it in the heat till I could afford to get it fixed. Then the following week when I was attempting to drive to Dallas to visit Bob, the car began to rapidly overheat in traffic in Houston -- so I turned around and went back home. Luckily, Bobby came to visit me and we took the car to another dealership to see what the problem was. This little trip ate my annual bonus and then some, leaving me wishing I could toss the car out the window!

Now, fast forward to today and since I'm so close to work I decided to come home for lunch. I'm glad I did because otherwise I would have found myself stranded at work for a second time -- at least today I was stranded at home. The bad thing was I didn't have anyone to get it started for me, so a coworker came over and spent 30 mintues fiddling with it until he got it started and we dropped it off at the dealership on the way back to the office. They called me when I got back to the office and told me that the casting was bent and that was not covered under the warranty - to which I replied, well maybe if you'd have discovered this the first time around I wouldn't have had to pay for the twice already. End story, they still have my car and another coworker dropped me off on her way home -- we'll find out tomorrow if I have to pay for round 3 or not.

This all wouldn't be too bad if my brother hadn't ditched me with his car payment. Yea, I was stupid enough to cosign for his car. It wouldn't have been too bad if he hadn't been sticking me and Bobby with a lot of the payments over the past 3 years, if he hadn't wrecked it, AND if he hadn't ditched the car so that our only option was just to leave it or pay the fee to get it out of the impound. So, after paying that fee and his payments we finally confiscated the car a couple weeks ago and donated it to the Ronald McDonald House in Ft. Worth. I know I could have been nice and just given it to him, but with the financial burden he's placed me under I just couldn't without being perpetually angry with him forever -- so I figured if I'm going to have to pay $14,000 for a busted up car that would have taken $6,000 to fix -- well the only thing I could do was to donate it.

So, this wouldn't be a problem if Bob and I were actually living in the same place -- but we're not. Which means I have 2 rent payments, 2 electric bills, etc... and now thanks to my brother 2 car payments.

Which still would be fine if I weren't still paying for MY engineering degree, or if I didn't cringe at the thought of being an engineer and crunching numbers in a cubby for the rest of my life.

So, money is my primary issue. Next comes my age -- I'm getting far too close to 30 and the thought of starting over professionally at 30 is super frightening. And the thought of prolonging a family even further just makes it all worse. And there's always Bobby and wishing we were together.

And finally, there's my grandmother who passed away 4 years ago May 26th. I think about her occassionally and dreamt about her the other night. It was a super odd dream, but just the thought of her kind of struck me. Her and I were never super close --- I was always the odd kid out in my family, but I seem to dream about her this time of year. Our relationship was always kind of odd I guess, but even with that weirdness, she was the only person in my family to visit me while I was in Seattle -- other than when I sent my brother a plane ticket and some extra money to help Bob and me move. Of course, she didn't make the trip for me, but because she had a friend in Seattle she was visiting and she popped in on me and Bob while she was visiting him. Anyway, even though we had an ackward relationship, I really miss her -- she was always our resident party planner and I miss how our family used to revolve around her; she was the glue that held us together, and sometimes I feel that her absense is most felt in the missed family gatherings.

My problem with Buddhism

I don't really have a problem with Buddhism, or my experience at the Buddhist temple -- but after having a little black rain cloud over my head for the past 2 days, it finally occurred to me why my actual problem was --- ok, so I didn't figure it out, but when one of Bob's classmates pointed out how similar my reaction was to my reaction to the atheist discussion group I went to in Austin, well it was a moment of clarity.

Just a little background -- after Bob left Austin for grad school, I was super lonely and in desperate need to make some friends and/or join a group so I wasn't so lonely all the time. So, in my brillance, I decided to go to this Atheist meetup to talk about religion and philosophy -- two of my favorite things. Btw, I'm not an atheist, I just *thought* with my grand intelligence that this group would have just the most awesome discussions known to man. And, if I were to seek a challenge to my argument ability this group would be the place -- surely no one would choose to be an atheist without a complete and full understanding of what they were rejecting.

Obviously, I'm mocking how naive I was, because the one (and only) discussion I went to left me fuming with anger at their lack of *general* knowledge about anything religious, other than perhaps some of the unsavory bits of religious history. It was horrible. After listening to a husband/wife groan about how awful religious people were, I (and another woman) took over the conversation. Then after I couldn't take their lack of knowledge anymore, I left --- called Bob, and fussed the ENTIRE way home about how uneducated these people were. It's one thing to have a rational argument about what you believe or don't believe and another to just whine about the color blue even though you've never seen it and only heard of it.

So, what Jeff pointed out was that my problem is really when I go somewhere expecting that the people would know what they're talking about only to discover my nothingness of religious knowledge eclipses theirs. Unfortunately, this seems to be a common problem for me when I expect someone is an authority and I find out they don't know anything more than I do, or worse -- they know less. It's not that I mind people not knowing things, but if you're going to tell me you're the resident expert (or you choose to talk heavily about a particular topic), know what you're talking about or at the very least be brave enough to tell me you don't really know.

What happened to the first quater of the year?

I'm really not sure what's happened to the last several months, but this year seems to be flying by.

My Introduction to World Religions class ends next week. I currently have a 98 in the class and could sleep through the final and still pass. I need to finish my write-up for my alternative religious experience. I've been procrastinating writing it, because I was super disappointed with the Buddhist Temple I went to. It's supposed to be the scholarly research Buddhist center of Houston, but they segregated the Americans into this small meditation room near the kitchen and gave us the lone American monk. Bob and I went for the hour meditation -- we only participated in the sitting meditation (40 minutes) -- and the dharma study afterwards.

I've gotta give a brief description of what went on in my head during the meditation because it was a near impossible thing for me to do. So, we go sit down on this padded bench (all the benches were padded) and the monk begins to say that we should clear all the thoughts from out head and focus on our breathing. So, I attempt to do this by focusing, "breathe in, breathe out." And as I'm doing this, I begin to become very aware of the noise and chatter outside the temple. Since the Americans and Chinese were segragated, the Americans were in a room near the kitchen and throughout the meditation I could here the chatter from the kitchen. And while I'm trying to think, "breathe in, breathe out" I begin to start thinking, "well how am I supposed to do this with all the chatter next door, maybe if it were just the birds tweeting and stuff, but not with this chatter." Then I remember I'm supposed to be focused on my breathing, "breathe in, breathe out, breathe in. Wow, this bench is really comfortable -- I don't think I've ever sat on a bench as comfortable as this, and yet it has no back support and my butt isn't aching -- dangit, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, how am I supposed to concentrate with people coming in and out of the room. Can't they read, the sign clearly says not to enter the room during the sitting meditation. Ugh, breathe in, breathe out. I wonder what everyone else is doing. Wow, their posture is so good. I wonder how long they've been doing this. Breathe in, how can anyone possibly do this? Sit still for 40 minutes. I wonder what time it is. I bet these people are just sleeping sitting up like Bobby does. Yup, that guy is breathing really deeply -- there's no way he's not sleeping. Haha, there goes Bobby, he's going to sleep -- better nudge him so he doesn't fall over. Yea know, I bet the Buddha just taught himself to sleep sitting up and that's all they're really doing- sleep sitting. Breathe in, breathe out. I wonder how they know it's time to finish meditating. If they don't open their eyes to look at the clock, how do they know? How could you possibly tune out that chatter outside? I thought this was supposed to be a quiet time -- not outside chatter time. Tick, tock, tick, tock. Birds are so funny. Ah, I like the AC, it tunes out the noise outside. Breathe in, I wonder if he knows (the monk) that I can't concentrate on anything. He probably thinks I'm a fool. Nah, he's sleeping, not moving at all. Ding, Ding, Ding. I wonder what that bell is for. Ah, everyone outside stopped talking. Ding, Ding, Ding. Oh, now they're talking again. I wonder what Bob's doing? He's doing so much better than me. Breathe in, Breathe out."

Ok, so I know I thought about other things, but this is what I remember spending the most time on. Like I needed this all running through my head constantly for 40 minutes. :) I know, not the intent, but Bobby's experience was surprisingly similar.

So, both the meditation and dharma were cool and I was relatively happy with those experiences. My dissappointment was caused by talking to the resident expert that was supposed to explain everything to me. My line of questioning was primarily along the lines of, "What's that, what's it for, why's it in here, what are they doing that for?"

I was asking questions about everything, even things I knew from my studies just to get their point of view on it. Now, I can not say that someone has an incorrect point of view, but when we start spewing Nazi rhetoric for an Eastern symbol -- I'm going to lose my ability to talk to you; and, in general I'm going to be overwhelmed with your stupidity. Ok, so the only thing he said was that the swastika stands for perfection --- which is not true. Perhaps in some twisted way it could be, but no, that's never something I would say.

Anyhow, my entire experience culminated in that single instant and I've had a little black rain cloud over my head ever since. So, I've been trying to think about what to do with myself. I'm still planning on going back to school and getting my masters degree, but what I can't figure out is what to get my masters in.

Ugh, so my little black rain cloud encouraged me to skip karate tonight - which I've been participating in for almost 2 months now. I like it, but I just couldn't force myself to go tonight.

Hopefully, my rain cloud with start to clear tomorrow.

Texas Democratic Caucus

I went, I caucused and if I could I'd switch my vote. I don't think I've ever felt this way after voting, nor have I ever been so horrified by the democratic process than I do tonight.

My evening started off ok. I was cramming for my mid-term exam in my Religions course. Actually, I was freaking out because I feared I hadn't prepared enough and was anticipating a C -- praying for a C -- until I took the exam anyway. Of the 40 questions I knew 36 of them -- and I mean KNEW, no question, no guessing, I knew them. The other 4 I guessed (wrong). Then there's the essay and other than missing the official name of the yin/yang symbol, I'm confident I got all the points for explaining its meaning and significance. I know I missed the least number of questions -- the rest of the class glared at me :) -- and I did some of the extra credit, so I know I got an A.

Anyhow, after the exam and Zorastrinism I sped off to my local polling location to see if I could make it under the door for the caucus. I got there around 8:30 or so, quickly found my precinct and started talking to some other people in my group. There was this one elderly woman who took me aback a little, because had we not been at a Democratic caucus, I would have sworn she was a Republican. Well, come to find out she was, and she was only voting in the Democratic caucus to keep Obama from getting the nomination. She was the most foul woman I've ever meet and I had to "take a walk" otherwise my argument with her would have escalated to me punching a stupid, old woman. It wasn't until 9:30 or 10 that they actually opened the doors for the caucus to begin. Due to the large number of people participating, the precincts were broken up and my precinct was shuffled off to the cafeteria (we were at a local elementary). My precinct had the Obama people start signing in first, with the reason being that it was the courteous thing to do and I heard some mention of "A PLAN."

I really wasn't paying much attention to "THE PLAN" that was afoot because I didn't care and all I wanted to do was vote and see if I could be a delegate. So, I sign in and wait around for the delegate nominating process.

After everyone had signed, this one Hillary supporter started leading the group through the nominating process. I say leading because that's what should have happened. What really happened was the most absurd thing I'd even seen. I'll try to adequately portray what took place.

The Obama and Clinton people are divided up -- almost along race lines. The Clinton people, minus me and another guy, were sitting at one end of the table, and the Obama, plus me and this guy, were at the other. I recognized a couple of the Obama people from my apartment complex and was talking to one woman about how if Obama won, I'd happily support him in the election -- just if given the choice between the two I preferred Clinton because of her health care and stuff like that. Then this Clinton woman, stood up and started talking really fast, I didn't hear her very well and suddenly a bunch of the Clinton people start saying, I nominate ___, I 2nd, I 3rd, DONE, any nominations for Secretary, I nominate ___, I 2nd, I 3rd, DONE. The Obama people, this guy, and me have no clue what's going on -- the Obama people start yelling foul, and I mean YELLING. The Clinton and Obama people are yelling at each other, the Clinton people saying its done and we're not going back, and the Obama people yelling that they had no idea what was going on. Our whole precinct is now yelling and one of the Obama supporters goes off to get the Election Judge to resolve the situation.

Of course, the Election Judge makes the Clinton people resort to an ACTUAL democratic process and we renominate the Delegate Chair and Secretary (they fill out the paperwork for our precinct and submit our votes to the Democrats of Texas). Well, by now the group is strongly divided between Obama/Clinton groups and that's pretty much how the group votes -- except me and this guy who thought the whole previous situation was CRAP and wasn't going to give this power to Clinton group -- and our vote decided the Obama group was in charge. While I was voting for this Obama girl to lead us, this old woman (see above) kept grabbing my arm and yelling at me that I didn't understand who I was voting for. I firmly told her I did, but she kept yelling that she was Obama not Clinton. I didn't care - what's fair is fair, and if the Clinton group was prepared to run the group in a dictoral process, it wasn't something I was interested in participating in.

So, we get past this situation -- me voting for the Obama girl, we fill out our paperwork and begin to select our delegates. There's 8 for Obama and 4 for Clinton from our precinct. I mention to the Clinton group that I would like to be a delegate, and they tell me that Obama supporters are not allowed to be their delegates. I assured them that I wasn't - I voted for Clinton - and they countered that I hadn't supported the Clinton group with the whole Leader/Secretary fiasco. So, they go to the guy that also voted for the Obama girl and asked if he wanted to be a delegate -- all the while I keep saying I want to be a delegate. Well, he says yes -- but after he leaves they realize he also voted for Obama girl and decided he wasn't trustworthy enough and was taken off the delegate role. So, out of the 10 people remaining during this mess -- him and I are the only ones excluded from being either a delegate or a back-up delegate. And, this may not seem odd unless you realize the remaining people that said they would be delegates were like, "Well, if noone else wants to be, I guess I will..." with me in front of them saying, "I want to be a delegate, can I be a delegate, I'm free then please, can I?"

After this, I was just pissed off. Between the mix of stupid old woman who would never vote Democrat other than to keep a black man out of the running and kept badgering me with her idiotic nonsense about why she liked Clinton -- because she represents more status quo and no change in government so she can keep more of her money; oh, and so she can get more handouts from the government because at her age (retirement) she wants every handout she can get (but she's still voting McCain in the fall) -- to the usurping of power by the Clinton crowd in an obvious attempt to get a leg up on the Obama crowd; I was just dusgusted with my vote. If my vote meant standing in a crowd of anti-democrats (anti-democracy) and bigots --- it's not a crowd I want to be in.

And now, I'm just fuming. I like Hillary -- but this experience is making me worry about her as a candidate and her past indescrecians (I can't spell and I'm not going to look it up). If this is how her candidacy is running ... I wanna change my vote!

Jan Fitness Challenge: Day 30

I've still been super sleepy all week, so I've been taking things easy. Plus, I have to do a presentation on Buddhism next Tuesday night so I'm trying to prepare for it. It's been awhile since I've given a presentation, so we'll see how I do. My classmates seem to have faith in my abilities, but I'm not sure if they're just being nice or not --- I do ask a lot of pointed questions in class, but I tend to already know the answer (not always), and I'm just asking to make a point. I don't think my professor this semester likes my questions. Ah well.
Well anyway, I did walk last night. I made it to 2 miles before I thought I was going to passout walking.

Walking: 2 / 35.5 / 46.5 mi Biking: 0 / 85 / 155 mi Swimming: 0 / 500 / 8000 yds

To Joe and Amanda - Live Long and Prosper

Ok, so that was my toast to my brother and his wife at the lunch after their wedding Thursday, 1/10. The wedding itself was short, but Bob and I enjoyed lunch with my parents, her parents, Joe and Amanda afterwards at Olive Garden. ... and Bob and I managed to get her mother to toast the two of them by saying "May the force be with you." Hehe.

I would have pictures, but Bob and I forgot our camera so ....

They were officially married at 11:05 am 1/10/08 at the Courthouse in downtown Fort Worth. Amanda's parents, Joe's parents, Bob and I were in attendance.

Jan Fitness Challenge: Day 12

Walking: 1.5 / 17.5 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 5 / 55 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds

Jan Fitness Challenge: Day 11

Walking: 1.5 / 16 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 5 / 50 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds

Jan Fitness Challenge: Day 9

For the 9th:

Walking: 1.5 / 14.5 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 5 / 45 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds

Jan Fitness Challenge: Day 8

For the 8th:

Walking: 1.5 / 13 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 0 / 40 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds

Jan Fitness Challenge: Day 7

Today was perhaps my roughest day in the past month, not because of leg pain but because it was my first full day with Bobby back in Dallas. The first full day, ok month, is always rough as I get super bummed and lonely. And, as a rule, Mondays are always worse, because I feel like I've been torn in half and separated from my other (better) half. It is the reason I haven't swam with my team in awhile, because Mondays are so rough and Fridays I'm trying to get out of work early. So, while I didn't make it to swim practice today (partially because I went to the Post Office to apply for a passport -- something I was supposed to do over the holidays) after sulking and taking a nap I managed to drag myself to the gym - sniffles, cough and all. I probably should have attempted an allergy pill or something before going but I hate taking medicine so much ...


Walking: 2 / 11.5 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 5 / 40 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds

Jan Fitness Challenge: Day 6

My progress for the 6th.

Walking: 2 / 9.5 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 5 / 35 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds

Jan Fitness Challenge: Day 5

My progress for the 5th.

Walking: 1.5 / 7.5 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 5 / 30 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds

I'm slowly isolating the cause of the pain in my feet, heel, and shins to fix them. I've had the shin pains before and was previously successful in correcting the cause by getting new shoes. The feet and heel pain, however is new to me and I thought I'd try out different ensoles to see if I could find something to solve the problem. I originally thought it was poor arch support, but the arch support ensoles only made the problem worse. So, today I tried out a heel support ensole with no arch support and that seems to help a lot. My heels are still a little sore, as are my feet, but they feel a lot better and not as strained as they did yesterday. These ensoles seem to work better, so I'm going to try glueing them into my shoes to see how that does. Hopefully that will do the trick and I won't need to buy new shoes until these are worn out -- it looks like I'm going to have to go to a specialty shop again for the next pair of shoes so I don't have to go through this again with the ensoles (that's how I solved the problem before).

Jan Fitness Challenge: Day 4

My progress for yesterday.

Walking: 1.5 / 6 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 5 / 25 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds

Jan Fitness Challenge: Day 4

My progress for yesterday.

Walking: 1.5 / 6 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 5 / 25 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds

January Fitness Challenge: Day 3

My progress for yesterday.

Walking: 1.5 / 4.5 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 10 / 20 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds

January Fitness Challenge: Day 2

Walking: 1.5 / 3 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 5 / 10 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds

January Fitness Challenge: Day 1

Well, it's time to reset my fitness challenge. Last month I got off to a slow start but I managed to pull it out in the end by uping my daily walk distance. I had the swim rapped up pretty quickly and since I've got into a steady pace with the walk and bike, I thought I'd up them all for January.

This was last month:

Walking: Goal - 26.2 mi / Completed - 27.3 mi
Biking: Goal - 112 mi / Completed - 117 mi
Swimming: Goal - 4200 yds / Completed - 4500 yds

And here's my goal for this month:

Walking: Goal - 46.5 mi
Biking: Goal - 155 mi
Swimming: Goal - 8000 yds

And my current progress: Today / Total / Goal

Walking: 1.5 / 1.5 / 46.5 mi
Biking: 5 / 5 / 155 mi
Swimming: 0 / 0 / 8000 yds