Monday, April 28, 2008

My problem with Buddhism

I don't really have a problem with Buddhism, or my experience at the Buddhist temple -- but after having a little black rain cloud over my head for the past 2 days, it finally occurred to me why my actual problem was --- ok, so I didn't figure it out, but when one of Bob's classmates pointed out how similar my reaction was to my reaction to the atheist discussion group I went to in Austin, well it was a moment of clarity.

Just a little background -- after Bob left Austin for grad school, I was super lonely and in desperate need to make some friends and/or join a group so I wasn't so lonely all the time. So, in my brillance, I decided to go to this Atheist meetup to talk about religion and philosophy -- two of my favorite things. Btw, I'm not an atheist, I just *thought* with my grand intelligence that this group would have just the most awesome discussions known to man. And, if I were to seek a challenge to my argument ability this group would be the place -- surely no one would choose to be an atheist without a complete and full understanding of what they were rejecting.

Obviously, I'm mocking how naive I was, because the one (and only) discussion I went to left me fuming with anger at their lack of *general* knowledge about anything religious, other than perhaps some of the unsavory bits of religious history. It was horrible. After listening to a husband/wife groan about how awful religious people were, I (and another woman) took over the conversation. Then after I couldn't take their lack of knowledge anymore, I left --- called Bob, and fussed the ENTIRE way home about how uneducated these people were. It's one thing to have a rational argument about what you believe or don't believe and another to just whine about the color blue even though you've never seen it and only heard of it.

So, what Jeff pointed out was that my problem is really when I go somewhere expecting that the people would know what they're talking about only to discover my nothingness of religious knowledge eclipses theirs. Unfortunately, this seems to be a common problem for me when I expect someone is an authority and I find out they don't know anything more than I do, or worse -- they know less. It's not that I mind people not knowing things, but if you're going to tell me you're the resident expert (or you choose to talk heavily about a particular topic), know what you're talking about or at the very least be brave enough to tell me you don't really know.

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