...and it seems to be a lot lately.
First, my car has been a huge issue these past few months. It all started last June when my ignition cylinder started locking up. For awhile, I could just jiggle the key for a bit and it would eventually unlock. Since it appeared to be getting steady worse I finally took it into the dealership to have them fix the problem. After I got it back it seemed to be ok for awhile, then in March it completely locked up stranding me at work. Luckily, we had just moved to the apartment closer to where I work and I walked home -- a punishing 2 mile walk in dress shoes. The next day a coworker picked me up at home and he helped me start the car to take it to the dealership. Since they were doing the same thing they'd done the previous June, I mistakenly thought they'd fix it free since they'd just worked on it less than a year previous. My mistake -- because the dealership only warranties their work for 1 year or 12,000 miles, and super lucky me was at 13,000 miles, so I was blessed to have to pay for the same work AGAIN.
Well, then when I got the car back, less than a week later the air conditioner went out. I didn't think too much of it, because I could rough it in the heat till I could afford to get it fixed. Then the following week when I was attempting to drive to Dallas to visit Bob, the car began to rapidly overheat in traffic in Houston -- so I turned around and went back home. Luckily, Bobby came to visit me and we took the car to another dealership to see what the problem was. This little trip ate my annual bonus and then some, leaving me wishing I could toss the car out the window!
Now, fast forward to today and since I'm so close to work I decided to come home for lunch. I'm glad I did because otherwise I would have found myself stranded at work for a second time -- at least today I was stranded at home. The bad thing was I didn't have anyone to get it started for me, so a coworker came over and spent 30 mintues fiddling with it until he got it started and we dropped it off at the dealership on the way back to the office. They called me when I got back to the office and told me that the casting was bent and that was not covered under the warranty - to which I replied, well maybe if you'd have discovered this the first time around I wouldn't have had to pay for the twice already. End story, they still have my car and another coworker dropped me off on her way home -- we'll find out tomorrow if I have to pay for round 3 or not.
This all wouldn't be too bad if my brother hadn't ditched me with his car payment. Yea, I was stupid enough to cosign for his car. It wouldn't have been too bad if he hadn't been sticking me and Bobby with a lot of the payments over the past 3 years, if he hadn't wrecked it, AND if he hadn't ditched the car so that our only option was just to leave it or pay the fee to get it out of the impound. So, after paying that fee and his payments we finally confiscated the car a couple weeks ago and donated it to the Ronald McDonald House in Ft. Worth. I know I could have been nice and just given it to him, but with the financial burden he's placed me under I just couldn't without being perpetually angry with him forever -- so I figured if I'm going to have to pay $14,000 for a busted up car that would have taken $6,000 to fix -- well the only thing I could do was to donate it.
So, this wouldn't be a problem if Bob and I were actually living in the same place -- but we're not. Which means I have 2 rent payments, 2 electric bills, etc... and now thanks to my brother 2 car payments.
Which still would be fine if I weren't still paying for MY engineering degree, or if I didn't cringe at the thought of being an engineer and crunching numbers in a cubby for the rest of my life.
So, money is my primary issue. Next comes my age -- I'm getting far too close to 30 and the thought of starting over professionally at 30 is super frightening. And the thought of prolonging a family even further just makes it all worse. And there's always Bobby and wishing we were together.
And finally, there's my grandmother who passed away 4 years ago May 26th. I think about her occassionally and dreamt about her the other night. It was a super odd dream, but just the thought of her kind of struck me. Her and I were never super close --- I was always the odd kid out in my family, but I seem to dream about her this time of year. Our relationship was always kind of odd I guess, but even with that weirdness, she was the only person in my family to visit me while I was in Seattle -- other than when I sent my brother a plane ticket and some extra money to help Bob and me move. Of course, she didn't make the trip for me, but because she had a friend in Seattle she was visiting and she popped in on me and Bob while she was visiting him. Anyway, even though we had an ackward relationship, I really miss her -- she was always our resident party planner and I miss how our family used to revolve around her; she was the glue that held us together, and sometimes I feel that her absense is most felt in the missed family gatherings.