Good God, not my eyes! Part 3

Ok, last time I left off after the surgery on my left eye. The surgery for my right eye was done a week later on April 30th.

I was able to return to work the following Monday, after my left eye, while Bob and mom returned to Dallas. My mom came back on Tuesday and we hung out until my surgery Thursday afternoon. Bob couldn't skip class, so he came Thursday evening.

The surgery was pretty much the same, except that we had to wait a lot longer to get back in there. It didn't help much, just waiting around, but I was eventually led into the same room I'd been in the week before. After much protesting, my mom was kicked out of the room. The biggest difference between the left eye and right eye was that 1) I sort of blinked, only a little, but it was really hard to resist because she was applying so much pressure to my eye and 2) after they'd injected my eye to numb it, the doctor didn't stand there for 5 minutes rubbing it in, so it took a bit longer for my eye to completely numb and become stationary. I tried to rub it a little myself, but I know I was being more gentle than the doctor had been the previous week.

My mom was allowed back into the room while my eye was numbing, but then again, after much protesting and telling of stories I didn't want to hear, she was kicked out again while they performed the laser treatment. The laser itself was over in a couple mintues and we were soon on our way.

As with the left eye, I didn't really feel much immediately after the surgery, just a little beat up, so since we hadn't eaten all day (it was around 5pm), we decided to stop by Olive Garden on the way home. We had a nice dinner, and as we waited, the pain from my eye slowly started to seep in. Afterwards, we stopped by the pharmacy to get the pain medicine and we went home so I could rest.

The amount of pain I had after we reached home and I was able to lay down was significantly worse than the previous iteration. To the point that I would just shudder and squeeze my kitty, George, who had come in to keep me company (he's such a good cat). It took my longer to get to sleep, but eventually I was able to and I rested until Bobby showed up that evening. I was still in a lot of pain, after he got there, so I rested until it subsided enough that I could watch Star Trek. The next day the pain was almost gone, which was really different from the previous eye which took days for the pain to subside as much as it had by day 2 on the right eye.

And, that was pretty much it. At least that was what I thought. I continued to have a dull ache, and when I completely came off the steroid drops (in my right eye) looking at my computer was becoming increasingly difficult and light caused such a sharp pain my my eyes that I would have to nap when I got home from work just to alleviate some of my headache. Not to mention that by the end of the day I couldn't read, and finishing the history class I was taking had become a major chore because I had such a hard time reading the computer screen. So, I returned to the eye surgeon to see what was the problem the following week. They couldn't see anything, and suggested I try rewetting drops for awhile to see if it would help (that was Friday May 8th).

By the 11th, I was in no mood to play with eye drops and decided I needed to go back to my opthamologist to get a second opinion (really a third since my eye surgeon was in surgery and another doctor saw me). He did a full exam to rule out possible eye diseases and to check my vision. He told me that the light sensitivity was a side effect of the surgery and that he thought a lot of the pain was due to a major change in my near field vision (I had had a vision test 2 months before, so the change, for the better, in my near range vision was very sudden). He suspected my allergies could have also been causing some of the problem and in addition to ordering me some reading glasses, he suggested I try Sudafed.

The Sudafed helped, wearing sunglasses over my glasses helped with the light sensitivity (outside, inside is still a problem), and the reading glasses arrived the other day and I can actually read again. Small print is still an issue on the computer, but in most places I can increase the font size so I'm doing ok. 8 hrs staring at a computer screen still leaves me with a headache, but I'll only be doing this for a couple more days and after Thursday my computer usage time will drop off significantly.

So, that's where I'm at. I have a follow up appointment in August and two pairs of glasses, one for reading (and working on the computer) and one for everything else.

Good God, not my eyes! Part 2

So, I got as far as April 16th in the previous post. The surgery on my left eye was scheduled for the following week, the 23rd.

Mom and Bob both arrived here in Houston late on the 22nd, so they could take me to my appointment the following morning. I don't remember exactly when the appointment was, 10am or 11am, but we got up around 8 and made it to the Medical Center near Rice University with 15 minutes to spare.

We didn't wait very long before they had all three of us in the back and were in the process of dilating my eyes. We waited 30 minutes or so in their not so dark, dark room for my eyes to completely dilate. Then, off I was to the operating room. It wasn't what I would normally think of as a standard operating room, because the operating table was shoved against a wall and the main feature to the room was a computer.

But there I laid, on the not so cushioned operating table with the nurse rubbing alcohol under my eye and Bob and mom questioning the nurse on if they could stay and watch, what kind of laser is that, what power, what's this, what's that.... An inquisitive pair. But, no they couldn't stay, so when the doctor was ready to numb my eye they were kicked out.

So, eye numbing, that was a not so fun adventure. The doctor came and stood over me, so I couldn't see her hands, of course, and told me to look at the nurse's finger and not to move.... all I was thinking was, "Don't Panic, Don't Panic, Don't flinch, Don't Panic..." Then suddenly I see it, the longest needle known to man and it's headed straight for my eye, MY EYE! Don't Panic! Ok, so it wasn't right at my eye, just slightly below my iris on the part of my eye between my cheek bone and where my eye lashes are. I couldn't really tell you if I was still or not, because it's really difficult to focus when someone is applying a lot of pressure to your eye. But, the next thing I knew the needle was out, the doctor was rubbing below my eye and Bob and mom were back in the room, asking all sorts of questions. I hate to admit, but I wasn't hearing them anymore. They were now collaborators with the crew that was torturing me.

So, the doctor played rub my eye for a little while, then went off somewhere. The next thing I knew, the nurse was having me look around the room to see if my eye was ready. What I saw, was obviously very different from what everyone else saw my eyes do, because it seemed to me that I could move both eyes, they were just not looking in the same direction. They saw my left eye remain still and my right eye moving around, which meant I was good to go.

The nurse then started putting a jel on my eye, tapped the right one closed (so it would not be effected by the laser light), and began all her preparations. Mom and Bob were again kicked out of the room and the doctor came back in. They turned out the lights... and during this time my ability to see out of my left eye was diminishing, so that all I could see was light (vague right?, think a single ball from Van Gogh's Starry Night, that's all I could see). The doctor put on her "mining" helmet and they quickly began the procedure. It only took a few mintues, with me seeing only a Starry Night spot that flashed green, sometimes a greenish blue.

Next thing I knew, Bob and mom were back in the room, my eye was patched up, and we were heading home. For the most part, I felt ok, a little beat up, but like I had a sunburned ring around my eye, nothing too bad. So, I wasn't about to protest to lunch, cause I felt fine, no real pain at all, and off we went to the 59 diner. Yes, the 59 diner. I hadn't conveyed my concern that my problems were connected to the 59 diner, and since it was only circumstantial, and mom and Bob were all excited, I couldn't protest.

It was a good lunch, and as it wore on, I slowly began to feel a little something. Just a little headache, no need for codeine or any pain medicine, and as we were heading home I told them I felt fine, ... no need to fill the prescription. That was along HWY 59, by the time we reached HWY 290, it was more than just a little headache, and I conceded that I would need to fill the prescription.

We stopped by our local CVS, and filled the prescription as I leaned against Bob feeling as though I'd been stabbed in the eye -- which I had been. When we got home, they tucked me into bed, fed me some codeine, and tried to get me to go to sleep. It took awhile, because every position hurt. Not just a little, a lot. I'd been stabbed and tortured and was now suffering the consequences. So after a short nap, 2-3 hours, I got up and emailed my boss that I would NOT be in the next day. "You'll feel fine the next day." ... right, let me stick a needle in your eye, burn your retina back in place, and you tell me if you're fine the next day.

Well, I did manage to join mom and Bob for some late night Star Trek (gotta love DVR) after the pain subsided a bit. I don't remember much of what we did that night, but I know Star Trek was involved. That night when I went ot bed, I could only sleep on my back. It took me a week to be able to sleep in any other position. I had nightmares that night, which I'm starting to think is a natural reaction to traumatic experiences. I'd been in a lot of pain, A LOT, so looking back, I guess it's understandable.

That's about all I can handle tonight, more later.

Good God, not my eyes! Part 1

I wish I knew where to begin, perhaps the best place is my state of panic at the thought that I was drawing nearer to a state of blindness. While I know its a bit of a leap to go from dizziness, spots, and eye pain to "I'm going blind!" but the words of my eye doctor when I was in high school telling me that I may go blind later in life, led me into a panic. Not that I verbalized my concern, and I intelligently waited a couple days just so noone would catch on.

My patience was rewarded with a trip to a local surgeon. And, I knew I should have told someone, and I should have had someone drive me, because the lady did tell me to, but with reckless abandon I went alone.

So, after poking around my eyes, -- poking is too polite, she manhandled me, flipped the chair over and everything, then stuck this huge light in my eye and asked me to look around. All I could think of was, 'light hurt, light hurt...."

And even though I knew it was coming, I just stared blankly at her when she told me I needed surgery on both eyes ... something about holes in my retinas, retinal skesis, lattice degeneration, retinal tears, and a small retinal detachment.

I'd known for years it was going to happen because of my "severe myopia" but my mind drifted to isolating the latest strain that would have caused it all. I flipped started with declaring it to be looking at ancient Biblical texts in dim lights (it all started after we went to the musuem to see the Christianity exhibt the day before Easter). I knew I shouldn't have been scanning the texts for letters I recognized, or wait ... no, it was the pot roast and sundae (we went to lunch at the 59 diner... it was a Saturday, afterall).

After all that, she told me to have someone bring me next time and she'd do the surgery on my left eye first, possibly with a local, or maybe just a topical pain reliever.

Random Story

Never tell someone the truth when a random story will do. Here's my conversation with a coworker:

Coworker: THANK YOU....always know I can depend on you my little cupcake with sprinkles!
Me: never call me that again.
Coworker: WHY....LMAO

Here's where I could have just told the truth and said, "ah, who wants to be called 'little cupcake with sprinkles'?" But I thought I'd bog her down with a random story instead --- thus I could irratate the idea of calling me 'little cupcake with sprinkles' out of her.

Me: ... bad memories.
Coworker: I want to know.....do you have bad memories with a cupcake as a child?
---- BEGIN RANDOM STORY --------
Me: It all started when our hyphen-happy protagonist, Stephanie, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling alarmingly exasperated, Stephanie poked a ripened avocado, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, she realized that her beloved little cupcake with sprinkles was missing! Immediately she called her so-called buddy, Bob. Stephanie had known Bob for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were curious ones. Bob was unique. He was plucky though sometimes a little... stupid. Stephanie called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Bob picked up to a very sad Stephanie. Bob calmly assured her that most disease-carrying chipmunks panic before mating, yet Indonesian devil cats usually flamboyantly cringe *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Stephanie. Why was Bob trying to distract Stephanie? Because he had snuck out from Stephanie's with the little cupcake with sprinkles only three days prior. It was a saucy little little cupcake with sprinkles... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Stephanie got back to the subject at hand: her little cupcake with sprinkles. Bob panicked. Relunctantly, Bob invited her over, assuring her they'd find the little cupcake with sprinkles. Stephanie grabbed her hippopotamus and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Bob realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the little cupcake with sprinkles and he had to do it recklessly. He figured that if Stephanie took the wannabe go-fast Civic, he had take at least six minutes before Stephanie would get there. But if she took the Saturn? Then Bob would be scarcely screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Bob was interrupted by nine oafish Cats that were lured by his little cupcake with sprinkles. Bob grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling displeased, he aptly reached for his dull pencil and recklessly deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the disease-infested jungle, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Saturn rolling up. It was Stephanie.

----o0o----

As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of gerbils, so she knew she was running late. With a heroic leap, Stephanie was out of the Saturn and went earnestly jaunting toward Bob's front door. Meanwhile inside, Bob was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the little cupcake with sprinkles into a box of dangerous oil-soaked rags and then slid the box behind his refrigerator. Bob was stunned but at least the little cupcake with sprinkles was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Bob earnestly purred. With a careful push, Stephanie opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some dimwitted self-righteous ass in a magic flying carpet,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Bob assured her. Stephanie took a seat exotically proximate to where Bob had hidden the little cupcake with sprinkles. Bob turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Stephanie was distracted. Absolutely thrilled, Bob noticed a stupid look on Stephanie's face. Stephanie slowly opened her mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Bob felt a stabbing pain in his kidney when Stephanie asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the little cupcake with sprinkles right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A annoying look started to form on Stephanie's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's potatos from when she used to have pet Indonesian devil cats. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Stephanie nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Bob could react, Stephanie aimlessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The little cupcake with sprinkles was plainly in view.

Stephanie stared at Bob for what what must've been eleven microseconds. Unaware of the bleakness of existence, Bob groped charismatically in Stephanie's direction, clearly desperate. Stephanie grabbed the little cupcake with sprinkles and bolted for the door. It was locked. Bob let out a eccentric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Stephanie,' he rebuked. Bob always had been a little abrasive, so Stephanie knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Bob did something crazy, like... start chucking wolverines at him or something. Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, she gripped her little cupcake with sprinkles tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Bob looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Stephanie. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame seven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Stephanie. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Bob walked over to the window and looked down. Stephanie was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Stephanie was struggling to make her way through the lemur-infested moor behind Bob's place. Stephanie had severely hurt her fingernail during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Cats suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the little cupcake with sprinkles. One by one they latched on to Stephanie. Already weakened from her injury, Stephanie yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Cats running off with her little cupcake with sprinkles.

About nine hours later, Stephanie awoke, her ear throbbing. It was dark and Stephanie did not know where she was. Deep in the hazy bush, Stephanie was excessively lost. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, she remembered that her little cupcake with sprinkles was taken by the Cats. But at that point, she was just thankful for her life. That's when, to her horror, a little Cat emerged from the swamp. It was the alpha Cat. Stephanie opened her mouth to scream but was cut short when the Cat sunk its teeth into Stephanie's armpit. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Stephanie's lungs, but not before she realized that she was a failure.

Less than three miles away, Bob was entombed by anguish over the loss of the little cupcake with sprinkles. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened gerbil. With a skillful thrust, he buried it deeply into his ear. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Stephanie... wishing he had found the courage to tell her that he loved her. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the little cupcake with sprinkles that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Cats, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'( *

Of course, I don't have the story telling skills to come up with such a story on the spot, but I'm very familar with a little internet toy called the Random Story Generator. So, my nonsense was thanks to them, and my coworker won't be asking for any more stories from me. :)

* I gotta give credit where credit is due, so here's the credits for the story:

LOLz!!1
*** L337 Story Generator v1.0
*** Written by Derek Clark. Copyright © www.the-elite.net ~ 2004-2005
*** Forever pwning with earnest.
http://www.the-elite.net/---/story/

Ike at the Office

I've been procrastinating a lot lately, so in an effort to procrastinate new things I thought I'd post some of my pictures of the damage to our office building caused by Hurricane Ike. We were out of work for almost a week due to Ike and when they brought us back we were on generator power without AC for a week and then after they obtained a larger generator we were on generator power with AC for another week. It took about a month to get the office cleaned up again. Of course, in that time everyone switched offices (except me since I'm on the back hallway that was for the most part not effected.

They tore up the wet carpet and dry wall before they let us back in the building.

They had fans running to dry everything out.

It was just my side of the building that flooded -- the east side.

My *new* bosses old office. He's down the hall from me now. He went on vacation after Ike came through so he missed a lot of the office mess.

This office was empty, but it becamse a joke that we now knew what happened to the guy that had been in this office ... he slowly dug his way out. :)

I'm not sure exactly how much water we had inside but they took about 4 inches off the dry wall.

Towards east of building.

Looking back towards the back of the building.

Just Say NO!

I've tried to steer clear of being politically vocal for the past couple years because of the amount of anger and frustration I felt towards others, but I felt compelled to write Congress on the economic bailout plan and thought I'd post it here:

I am writing to you to urge you not to pass the $700 billion financial rescue plan. This plan is short sighted and does not present a solution to the fundamental problem behind our current financial situation – which lies with Main Street, not Wall Street.

I don’t mean to imply that Wall Street is without blame, they’ve clearly taken advantage of the liberal financial policies of the American family, but bailing out Wall Street will do nothing to set the US back on track to family fiscal responsibility. This is what our fundamental problem is – living beyond our means, buying today what we’ll spend the next 30-40 years to pay off. What Americans don’t realize is that we’re all part of the problem; it’s our lifestyle of excess that has got us into this situation. If it weren’t for our company sponsored retirement plans, how many of us would truly have any savings? We bicker about the rising cost of healthcare, and constantly see stories of the financial strain caused by the rise in healthcare, but really, how many of us are prepared? Not many and that’s our problem.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t do something about our current situation, but providing access to more loans and more debt only extends the problem into the foreseeable future when it will inevitably come back to bite us. What we need to do is focus on the underlying problem which is the American people not paying their debt.

Ultimately, what I want are alternative solutions. Don’t give me a $700 billion rescue plan – we can do better than that.

Thanks for your time,

Having been introduced to differing managing styles, I've found that the most fruitful are those that follow an Ideo style strategy in brainstorming in which, ultimately our collective ideas are always better than our individual ideas. Thus, I propose an Ideo style brainstorming session, because I’m certain our collective wisdom will produce something better than a $700 billion bailout.

Here are my ideas:

1. We need to put an end to bankruptcy, or if as a nation we can’t stomach actually having to pay our debts, put a hold on foreclosures and keep these people paying their mortgages.
2. Get rid of the early 401K withdrawal penalty, because as people near financial desperation we shouldn’t be penalizing them for wanting to pay their debts. We shouldn’t penalize people for tapping their last resource before filing for bankruptcy. Not to mention they’ve already taken a beating in the market, what’s the purpose of hitting them a second time?

Iota Kappa Epsilon

Bob and I have decided this is a more fitting name for IKE. Since the news keeps using all CAPS to name Ike, we figured the Greek was more appropriate. Makes it sound like a scary fraternity now! Raarrr. Iota Kappa Epsilon, raaarrr!

Hurricane Ike: Hurricane Theology

I read this great post over at my friend's site and thought I'd pass it along. It's a good read for anyone concerned that natural events, such as hurricanes, earthquakes, and the like, are God's method of punishment for sin.

A Christian View of Hurricanes

Hurricane Ike

Bobby and I made it through Hurricane Ike ok and thought we'd share
some pictures of our area -- they're only in the area where we live.
If I said I wasn't scared while it was going on, I'd be lying. When
the winds first started at our place they were coming from the Northeast.

For those that don't know, our apartment faces due east. We have an open
lawn between us and the adjacent building that runs north-south.

Looking east (as the storm is beginning to come in)

Looking northeast (as storm is coming in -- winds from northeast)

As I said, the winds were first coming from the northeast and there was one window in our apartment that was feeling the strain and growning. I was really concerned about this window because it seemed really stressed in the early stages of our wind development --- Ike still had not made landfall.

Well, around 2am Bobby and I went to lie down for a little while because we were getting really sleepy. Up to this point the wind really wasn't that strong, maybe 30-40 mph.

So, then around 3:30am or 4am -- I'm not quite sure the precise time because our electricity had gone out shortly after we lied down -- I heard this loud bang against our window and then I heard the wind. I'm not quite sure what the bang was, we think it may have been a bird or something. The wind however was running from north to south and was flowing pretty strongly through our open lawn. Bobby being the more brave ventured outside periodically and I would pull him inside when I thought it was unsafe -- which means he was eventually grounded inside. :) While we were watching we'd periodically see bursts of green light as transformers were bursting around town. It was truly the darkest I'd ever seen Houston.

By around 6am or so the wind shifted again so that it was blowing east to west, and about this time Bobby began to see debris flying off our roof and I began to grow concerned about the front windshield on my car. Of course, there wasn't much I could do about it because I was unwilling to allow Bobby to go outside and we had parked our cars so that the they would be protected from north winds -- which we felt would likely be the strongest. So as we're hanging out and we here the wind flowing through our corridor that is open east to west, our apartment began to shake. It wasn't the entire complex that was shaking, just the wall and floor immediately adjacent to the corridor. Since we were pretty sleepy, we figured it was a good time to retreat to the bedroom and take a nap.

I was woken up around 8am to the power coming back on and with the dawn of a new day I thought I'd take a look to around to see what had gone on under the cover of night. Here are the pictures:

Neighboring Apartment (wall faces east)

Lawn near apartment that runs north to south (roof tiles)

Showing roof of apartment across the way

Toppled tree

My car -- it's OK! Just a little covered in leaves :)

Drain that luckily didn't hit my car (or Bobby's)!

My roof looks bad!

Looking down from our balcony

Our door -- death by leaving

Another picture of drain

Another picture of our downed tree

More downed trees

Bushes torn apart

Bark ripped away from tree

Debris clog in pool

Neighboring complex that is missing siding

Overall, we got off lucky compared to the stories I've heard from around Houston. We are very thankful that our apartment was facing the best way to minimize effects from Ike. It's not completely over yet, but we're hopeful that our good fortune will continue. :)

New Testament Course: Part 3

After much reflection and concern that I would never be able to pass a course in which I disagreed so fundamentally with the instructor (and finding the class highly illogical) I decided to drop the course. It wouldn't have transferred anywhere anyway, so ultimately it was more stress than it was really worth.

In leiu of dropping this course, I thought I might take my mother-in-laws advice and actually go take a class from a local church. I went to Christ the Redeemer Monday night and I found it -- well, far and above the course I was taking. Unfortunately, my understading of Catholicism was a little too weak to completely follow along, so I think I need a more intro level course that explains some of the theology so I can merge that with what little I know of history. We'll see.

Yummy Cereal

I absolutely love this cereal. Try it - you'll thank me.

Kashi Cereal

New Testament Course, Part 2

So, after talking with the dean and the dean visiting our class, it appears that the instructor has moderated his tone a bit -- at least now he's not blatantly telling me I'm wrong,  he just alludes to it.

Other than having the joy of being able to call up Bobby after class to gleefully state that "it's demons," this took on a very different tone compared to last week's. Most notably after the dean left the class, we watched a short on the Spiritual Freedom Church, and their exorcism's of demons (hence the demons comment). Now, I don't believe in demons, so my disparaging remarks - yes I made them in class - is not surprising. So, while I knew that everyone else in the class believed in demons, because I was the lone desenter when the question was posed, I felt obligated to to provide an  alternative view otherwise the class comments would have sounded as though they were taken from some political party convention - it's no fun if everyone is in agreement. Here's my take on the Spiritual Freedom Church:

You need to consider the purpose of this individual. He's a Televangelist. That means he's in the business of selling God. He's about hype and encouraging people to not accept responsibility for their choices in life. This guy [the one that had the demon in him] clearly is torn between fulfilling his mother's desires to go into ministry and his own wishes to do something else.

I know it's not a popular view, but there it is. I think this one girl in the class attempted to make a point so as to prove demons existed by quoting something from 1 Peter 5 -- I'm not sure how this was really supposed to relate, because I didn't see any reference to demons. If anyone knows, please let me know. I probably should have asked her after class, but the only reason she mentioned the book and verse was because she knew I'd ask -- and she said it so dismissively that I dared not actually talk to her.

So, the other exciting event that occured in the class -- at least for me, was what I will always refer to my gift from God. As I noted before, I'm not keen on the New King James Bible and have held steadfast to my Catholic New American Bible even though he requested we all use the New King James Bible. As I mentioned in my previous post, one of my biggest concerns with this course was the instructors presentation of these alternative dates of authorship of the New Testament that placed them prior to the Fall of the Second Temple in 70 CE. Well, right after the dean had questioned him on his dates of authorship he selected a parable from Matthew for us to read and try to interpret. His statement concerning the dating of texts centers around his belief that there are no references to the fall of the Second Temple in the Gospel and that this lack of information alludes to the fact that the texts must have been written prior to it. Ok, so back to Matthew -- well, of all the Gospel parables he could have selected he chose Matthew 22:1-14.

I'm going to let that sink in a minute because the significance of Matthew's The Parable of the Wedding Feast at that exact moment, I mean right after he said there was no reference to the fall of the Second Temple... it was just perfect.

So, part of the beauty of my NAB is the footnotes, so I'll include here an excerpt of the footnote for Matthew 22:1-14:

22, 1-14: This parable is from Q; see Lk 14, 15-24. It has been given many allegorical traits by Matthew, e.g., the burning of the city of the guests who refused the invitation (7), which corrsponds to the destruction of Jerusalem by the Romans in A.D. 70. ....

Beautiful. Of course, he disregarded it -- but at least he didn't say I was wrong.

New Testament Course

New Testament Course
Category: Religion and Philosophy


I began taking a course on the New Testament from one of the local community colleges this past week and was horrified to discover the course was more suited for my sister's church than an institution of higher education.

While I do not have a quarrel with my sister's faith, I do with teaching a class on the basis of Biblical infallibility and speculation of dates of authorship*. Not only does this class suggest infallibility it outright rejects Biblical criticism and skips over this section in the text in an effort to present only an Evangelicals viewpoint. In an effort to minimize any attempt at noticing these chapters were skipped, the instructor has presented a second book for us to usein the course that minimizes any discussion on literary criticism. Overall, at first glance the class appears to be setup for the purpose of religious indoctrination, rather than religious scholarship instruction.

So, like any bad student, after questioning the instructor in class and being scoffed at for not knowing the Bible, I notified the dean of my concerns with the course. Noting that I had taken other courses that did not reject alternative points of view, such as my Old Testament course during the summer -- while it spent a lot of time on Biblical criticism, at the end of the day the instructor gave us literary samples that both rejected and supported literary criticism.

And, while I do have humility in my scholarship of the Bible and relish understanding alternative points of view, I am not interested in a course that presents only one -- particularly that, that one is fact.



*Note: While I do not begin to suggest that we should blindly follow Biblical scholarship on any, much less the dating of the New Testament books, I do question the agenda of an instructor that presents the more controversial view. Nor do I believe that an introductory course should dive head first into realm of religious discussion but should gain a base knowledge of the current status of scholarship -- then as they progress in their studies they should delve in discussion. While I hold this view for infallibility and the dating of the New Testament books, I do not hold this view for Biblical criticism -- as at its most fundamental level, this is what Biblical scholarship is about. And if it were the instructors opinion that this topic was just as controversial, I would hope that they would hold to teaching neither rather than selecting one as superior to the other as scholars studying the Bible are more closely split on this topic.

Good read

I was browsing through one of my previous instructor's blog and came across his views on abortion. I thought he made some valid points and I liked his blog enough that I thought I would pass it along. Contrary to what the title may suggest, this is not supportive of abortion.

Abortion: What's the Big Deal?

I Blame Bobby

I know I can't blame Bobby for my blatant addition of letters to words, such as adding u's and q's to words, or even my more recent turning Pogues into Progues, but I can blame Bob for this verbal slip:
"You can catch more honey with flies...."

It's so reminiscent of "Let's spill," "I'm forced to agree with myself," and "Open mouth insert tongue," and definitely all his fault!

Hurricane Day

I've had snow days, vacation days, and sick days, but I've never had a Hurricane Day. We'll get official word later this afternoon, but I won't be too heart broken if I don't.

Update: We got official word this afternoon stating that our Houston offices would be closed tomorrow in advance of Edouard. My first Hurricane Day, I'm so excited! Ok, so it's more likely just going to be a Rain Day, but I prefer that to an actual Hurricane Day -- but I'm not going to complain about a paid day off. Now I just need to bring in all my junk from the patio.

Update to the Update: Edouard was a total disappointment. I guess I should be happy, since we suffered no damage or anything -- but my Hurricane Day turned into a Rain Day. It wasn't even an impressive storm, we had much better storms with the hurricane that struck Brownsville.

Where am I going and What am I doing here?

I've been thinking a lot lately about life, the universe, and everything. Mostly I've been trying to decide whether I want to stay in engineering or not. For anyone that's talked to me in the last couple years, it's been a major struggle for me -- for several reasons.

On the stay in engineering side:

1) Money. I make good money as an engineer, and the financial prospects will only get better over the next ten years. If I were to stay in engineering and progress professionally, I could easily double my salary in the next ten years. Obtaining the Professional Engineers license would only enhance this.

2) Analysis. After been out of an analyst type position for the past year, I seriously miss it. I like numbering crunching, I like writing programs to number crunch, I like interpreting data and the results of data processing, and I like running numerical models -- my favorite being wave and sediment transport models.

3) Prestige. I like the way people respond to me when I tell them I'm an engineer. It's a little self confidence boost everytime it happens.

4) Variety. Unless you're in a large company, everyday in engineering is different. While I can not say I like wild swings from day to day, because I do like some stability, I do like the variety of work where I could spend one week programming, the next analyzing sediment samples, the next writing a bid document, and the next running a wave model.

5) Construction oversite. I've not been able to do this much of late, but its something I really enjoy. Of course, the only projects I've ever done it on would not have resulted in any deaths -- other than possibly my own, but there's something nice about getting to see your work completed and constructed. Not to mention the thrill of stomping around in work boots outside for day!

Against engineering:

1) Other engineers and contractors. This has been my biggest and most difficult hurtle in engineering. I've been told by potential employers that they were not interested in hiring married women, I've been told by a previous employer that I would not be able to manage a construction project because I was married -- all the while both KNEW my husband and I were living apart while he was in graduate school. Then, there's always the "boy club." Imagine being the ONLY female engineer in the company and having the boss come tell you that he and all the male engineers are going out, but "You're not invited because your husband would mind" even though he knew Bob wouldn't care and knew I was living alone. While at first glance it may seen mild, but functioning as a team is difficult when you're never a part of the bonding experience in the group.

That's not to mention the arrogance of engineers. They are some of the most ignorant, arrogant people I've ever met. There have been times where I attempt to argue a particular concept and rather than focusing on task conflict, I get this response: "I've been doing this for X many years, and X spent X amount for me to become an expert - So, trust me." Is it really so much to ask that engineers let go of their ego long enough to argue method?!

2) Children. And boy, oh boy, do I want kids! Kids are a part of my biggest struggle because working full time regardless of which profession you're in will mean sacrifices of time with the kids. Now I know engineering, so I know if a major project comes up personal plans get put aside. When major changes happen in the office, vacation, and flex hours disappear -- something I'm experiencing now, and how much would I really be willing to give up? How many sporting events (or recitals, or whatever!) would I be willing to give up? I know that my parents missed a lot (and I understand if its a necessity, but if I could work it out so it wasn't .... ), and having experienced the disappointment of looking in the stands and rarely finding them there, I don't want to repeat that in my childrens lives. Of course, I may not have a choice, but if I did....

3) Engineering itself. While there are aspects of engineering I like, there are others I really don't. My biggest fear is that I'd kill someone -- and while I know I'm not the only engineer to repeatedly check a calculation prior to construction for fear that the whole thing would just fail, it's not an enjoyable part. Then there's mechanical engineering -- a soul crushing experience in my opinion. Widgets and gadgets are cool to play with, but the designing aspect of it is not for me. I like water and sand, not metals.

Of course, then there's some of the basic grunt work of engineering. Design calculations and design standards. While very necessary, I prefer to analyze a situation more than I enjoy the nit and gritty of tiresome design calculations.

Plus, engineering isn't even what I spend the majority of my time thinking about. When I daydream I drift into a land of religious and philosophical quandry. It's what I spend the majority of my free time focused on, and it's what I'm most obsessed with -- not engineering. If I had to chose between Modern Marvels or a Discovery program on religion --- I'd be on the religious program in an instant.

4) Job stability. As more and more engineering jobs are being shipped overseas, it's only a matter of time before ocean engineering will be performed in Singapore, India, and South Korea ... where a large percentage of vessels are constructed. My future prospects aside, the oil and coastal industry also fluctuates with oil. Every 10 years or so, the market collapses and by all accounts we're due for a collapse. And while I hope I can maintain a position when the inevitable occurs, do I really want to put myself in a position similar to my mom where I'm just waiting for them to close the doors so I can try and figure out what to do with myself?

5) Bob. Bob and I have never had much luck finding jobs in the same location. His highest job potential locations are inland, and mine are coastal. As he gets nearer to the end of his PhD, could I really limit his search again -- after all that time and money he put into the PhD? I don't think so, and I told him I wouldn't.

So, here's where I am now. I'm at the point where if I'm going to stay I should take the PE exam, but even still there are times I want to take the PE exam regardless just so noone could ever say I left engineering because I couldn't hack it -- but is giving up 3 months of my free time and suffering through an 8 hour exam just to prove a point worth it if I don't want to stay in this profession?

Questions, questions, questions... if only I knew how 42 applied.

New Computer

For the past year or two, my 2001 Sony VAIO was dying under the weight of the many updates that Microsoft has put out. So much, that I could no longer have any programs on my computer other than Quicken, Office, Windows, and Messenger. My 11 gig machine was barely managing that and I was using an external drive for all my music, websites, pictures, and other documents.

After fussing about it for over a year, Bob and I finally went out and purchased a new computer. We had been saving up for a vacation, but a lot has changed in our group at work and a vacation is out for the near future -- so we decided the money would be well spent on a new laptop.

It's an HP -- we looked at the VAIO's but were more impressed with the features on the HP. With all my programs installed, music, pictures, and documents copied over I still have a staggering 200 gig to work with. Mesa like. :)

C.S. Lewis stuff

I don't normally get us this early in the morning (was up at working at 6am), but the cats were pestering me so I thought I'd finish my bolt (yuck!) calculation for work and send it off so I wouldn't have to do it later.

Well, after I finished I pulled out Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis to procrastinate the remainder of my work day and started looking at the list of quotes that was slowly accumulating on my makeshift bookmark. I don't normally keep quotes from books on my bookmarks, but I always hate when I read a great line and can never remember what it was -- so I thought this time I'd write them down.

Here's what I've got this far:

(pg 29) The statement that there is any such thing, and the statement that there is no such thing, are neither of them statements that science can make. And real scientists do not usually make them.

(pg 71) God is no fonder of intellectual slackers than of any other slackers.

(pg 112) If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were just those who thought most of the next.

Now if only I could convince the rest of the world of the accuracy of these statements.... Another day perhaps.

Trying not to think about it...

...and it seems to be a lot lately.

First, my car has been a huge issue these past few months. It all started last June when my ignition cylinder started locking up. For awhile, I could just jiggle the key for a bit and it would eventually unlock. Since it appeared to be getting steady worse I finally took it into the dealership to have them fix the problem. After I got it back it seemed to be ok for awhile, then in March it completely locked up stranding me at work. Luckily, we had just moved to the apartment closer to where I work and I walked home -- a punishing 2 mile walk in dress shoes. The next day a coworker picked me up at home and he helped me start the car to take it to the dealership. Since they were doing the same thing they'd done the previous June, I mistakenly thought they'd fix it free since they'd just worked on it less than a year previous. My mistake -- because the dealership only warranties their work for 1 year or 12,000 miles, and super lucky me was at 13,000 miles, so I was blessed to have to pay for the same work AGAIN.

Well, then when I got the car back, less than a week later the air conditioner went out. I didn't think too much of it, because I could rough it in the heat till I could afford to get it fixed. Then the following week when I was attempting to drive to Dallas to visit Bob, the car began to rapidly overheat in traffic in Houston -- so I turned around and went back home. Luckily, Bobby came to visit me and we took the car to another dealership to see what the problem was. This little trip ate my annual bonus and then some, leaving me wishing I could toss the car out the window!

Now, fast forward to today and since I'm so close to work I decided to come home for lunch. I'm glad I did because otherwise I would have found myself stranded at work for a second time -- at least today I was stranded at home. The bad thing was I didn't have anyone to get it started for me, so a coworker came over and spent 30 mintues fiddling with it until he got it started and we dropped it off at the dealership on the way back to the office. They called me when I got back to the office and told me that the casting was bent and that was not covered under the warranty - to which I replied, well maybe if you'd have discovered this the first time around I wouldn't have had to pay for the twice already. End story, they still have my car and another coworker dropped me off on her way home -- we'll find out tomorrow if I have to pay for round 3 or not.

This all wouldn't be too bad if my brother hadn't ditched me with his car payment. Yea, I was stupid enough to cosign for his car. It wouldn't have been too bad if he hadn't been sticking me and Bobby with a lot of the payments over the past 3 years, if he hadn't wrecked it, AND if he hadn't ditched the car so that our only option was just to leave it or pay the fee to get it out of the impound. So, after paying that fee and his payments we finally confiscated the car a couple weeks ago and donated it to the Ronald McDonald House in Ft. Worth. I know I could have been nice and just given it to him, but with the financial burden he's placed me under I just couldn't without being perpetually angry with him forever -- so I figured if I'm going to have to pay $14,000 for a busted up car that would have taken $6,000 to fix -- well the only thing I could do was to donate it.

So, this wouldn't be a problem if Bob and I were actually living in the same place -- but we're not. Which means I have 2 rent payments, 2 electric bills, etc... and now thanks to my brother 2 car payments.

Which still would be fine if I weren't still paying for MY engineering degree, or if I didn't cringe at the thought of being an engineer and crunching numbers in a cubby for the rest of my life.

So, money is my primary issue. Next comes my age -- I'm getting far too close to 30 and the thought of starting over professionally at 30 is super frightening. And the thought of prolonging a family even further just makes it all worse. And there's always Bobby and wishing we were together.

And finally, there's my grandmother who passed away 4 years ago May 26th. I think about her occassionally and dreamt about her the other night. It was a super odd dream, but just the thought of her kind of struck me. Her and I were never super close --- I was always the odd kid out in my family, but I seem to dream about her this time of year. Our relationship was always kind of odd I guess, but even with that weirdness, she was the only person in my family to visit me while I was in Seattle -- other than when I sent my brother a plane ticket and some extra money to help Bob and me move. Of course, she didn't make the trip for me, but because she had a friend in Seattle she was visiting and she popped in on me and Bob while she was visiting him. Anyway, even though we had an ackward relationship, I really miss her -- she was always our resident party planner and I miss how our family used to revolve around her; she was the glue that held us together, and sometimes I feel that her absense is most felt in the missed family gatherings.